


Double Standards

by periwren



Category: Real Person Fiction, Sander Sides, Sander sides web series, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders - Freeform, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders - Freeform, Deceit Sanders - Freeform, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, He is terrible to Anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, Logic | Logan Sanders - Freeform, Magic Mirrors, Mirror Maze, Morality | Patton Sanders - Freeform, My first time writing Deceit as the villan, Panic Attacks, Past Videos, Sanders Sides (Video Blogging RPF), Spiders, Verbal Abuse, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-14 17:04:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14140551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/periwren/pseuds/periwren
Summary: The Sander Sides and Thomas discover that Deceit had taken Virgil and had tormented and hurt their poor smol boy. Not physically but emotionally and had driven their precious Anxious little baby to tears. The sides won't stand for it. But when Deceit leaves and the others try to comfort Virgil, he pushes them away. There is more to what happened than Virgil is willing to tell the others. So they (unwisely) go directly to Deceit. Deceit is only too happy to give the others a taste of what he put Virgil through.They are about to face some uncomfortable truthes about their past with Virgil.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InksandPens](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InksandPens/gifts).



> This story is based off an Idea from InksandPens story Alibi - you will see parts of this story taken from theirs so credit goes to them for this. 
> 
> So this if the first fic where I am deliberately trying to write Deceit as the bad guy. So I'm sorry if he comes off a little OCC. And also for future chapters, I am going to use dialog from Thomas's past videos again forgive me if I don't get it word for word but I will try.  
> I feel bad for Anxiety already :(

Anxiety nearly sobbed with relief when he saw the door. He staggered towards it.

He needed to get out. Must get out. Must escape. Gotta get away. Gotta escape him.

He should have fled the moment he appeared. Why? Why had he tried to act tough? He wasn’t tough – not when it came to him, sure he hated him but that other time he had been able to glare and glower at him because the others had been there to back him up, he should have known better than to think he would be okay on his own.

He was so stupid not to listen his flight or fight response when it told him to run. But he didn’t want him to know that he was scared. So, he acted tough. That was stupid. Lying to himself like that. It had only given Deceit more power.

And now Anxiety was in trouble, he could barely keep it together. He couldn’t breathe, his mind was in scrambles, his fear felt like it had physically manifested and tearing his nerves apart as it pulsed through his bloodstream. Deceit was a bastard. He had tormented Anxiety to the point that he was suffering sensory overload and was now in the middle of an anxiety attack. And that was just purely physical. Emotionally he was broken.

He didn’t want to believe that snake. He didn’t. But, their voices were still ringing in his ears. Deceit had made them so loud, overlapping each other and-and they weren’t fake. They had said those things. No-no- Deceit was manipulating their words. He was manipulating some of their words. Those words had been in the _past_ , he shouldn’t listen to them now! But they still hurt.

His hands shook as he fumbled at the door. He couldn’t get a good grip with these gloves. Please, he begged. Please just open. Please let me out. Please someone help me.

Deceit made the voices die down so he could be heard as he casually walked up behind Anxiety.

“Aww leaving so soon? But I am having so much fun.” He said mockingly.

Anxiety didn’t turn around a broken sob escaped his lips.

Deceit smiled unkindly. “Hmm, perhaps it is best you go now.” He said sounding thoughtful “Don’t want you ducking out again – that would disrupt Thomas – if your crying hasn’t already caused him enough distress already. Here let me help you.” And with that Deceit reached passed Anxiety and opened the door for him.

Anxiety tumbled out of the room and collapsed on the floor in the hallway.

“We are going to do this again sometime -soon. It’s so much fun. I really must thank the others. Never would have found out this weakness of yours without them. Nor how terribly upset you get when someone exploits it.” Deceit let out a cruel laugh.

 Anxiety could hardly see him through blurry eyes.

“Pl-please…. Please change me back.” He begged for what seemed the hundredth time since this ordeal began.

“Oh Virgil. Of course not.  You will just have to go and beg your new friends to help you. Oh wait… they _**didn’t**_ last time, did they? Not a single one of them helped you. They found this just as entertaining as I did, didn’t they? So why would the help you this time hmm? You know I bet they will find this change hilarious, won’t they?”

“No-please.”

“Hmm, you know what? I bet you just want to crawl to your room and hide right about now but I think I will send you straight to the commons. I really think you probably have caused Thomas to go into a meltdown and the others are probably desperately trying to fix what you have done.  But while we were having fun in my room, they couldn’t summon you. I wish I could see everyone’s reactions when you arrive, but if I go ahead of you they will work out what’s going on and I don’t want to ruin the fun too soon. Bye-bye Virgil.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Deceit" arrives in the living room.

Thomas wasn’t in as bad a shape as Deceit had predicted or hoped.

Anxiety, despite his own suffering, had used all the will power he could muster to desperately stop his excess anxiety flowing over to Thomas, all the while he was spiralling out of control himself. But he hasn’t been able to stop the flow completely.

So, Thomas was currently suffering a mild panic attack that the others were in control of handling. As far as Anxiety knew he had never let the sensory overload ever hit Thomas.

When the attack had started Thomas had been having a casual conversation with Roman, the two of them were a bit concerned that this attack seemed to occur out of the blue with no apparent trigger. Roman had called the others, Logan and Patton arrived as reinforcements to help with the situation but no Anxiety. The others grew annoyed, frustrated and a bit concerned when Anxiety didn’t respond to any further summons. They suspected that Thomas’s attack was due to something Anxiety was doing, so they weren’t sure if they could stop the attack properly if Anxiety didn’t show up and at least provide a vague reason as to why Thomas had suddenly become so anxious.

Due to no video currently being filmed there was no vertical column separating them so Thomas was on the couch with Patton sitting next to him giving him a warm hug and gently rubbing his back, Logan was on his other side calmly going through his counting exercises, while Roman was the only one in their traditional spots, over by the TV.

Suddenly Deceit burst into the room at the bottom of the stairs, disrupting the calm atmosphere the others were trying to maintain with a loud high-pitched shriek. He lost his balance and tumbled forward onto his hands and knees into the middle of the living room, looking around wildly like an animal about to be trapped in a cage, gasping loudly.

Oh, this was the last thing Thomas needed! The creepy snake face. A side that, up until recently, Thomas hadn’t even been aware of his existence. And his reveal to their host had not been a pleasant experience. Deceit was a lying, manipulating, creep. Thomas was still coming to terms that someone like Deceit was actually apart of him.

At the sight of Deceit, Thomas started to panic and lose control of his breathing again.

Patton screamed “Bowler Hat Guy!” pointing an accusing finger at him.

Deceit looked at them, his eyes wide with fear, he looked …like he had been crying?

Before Deceit could say or do anything, Roman boomed behind him “BEGONE you foul slimy reptile!” whipping out his samurai sword and banishing it threateningly, “Before I take your whole face clean off.”

Deceit screamed at the sight of Roman and his sword and crawled away from him as quickly as he could. Unfortunately, this meant he crawled closer to Thomas. Thomas and Patton clutched onto each other pulling their legs up onto the couch so they wouldn’t touch Deceit. Logan, with a look of absolute disgust, pushed Deceit’s side with his foot, shoving him back down onto the floor.

“Although Roman is incorrect in his statement of reptiles being slimy, I agree with the rest of the sentiment. Remove yourself from our presence immediately.” Logan said coldly.

Roman marched forward and grabbed Deceit by the collar and dragged him roughly across the floor away from the others.

Deceit curled in on himself “No-pl-please. Yo-you don’t understand! It’s me. _Virgil_. I-I’m Anxiety.” He tried to ignore the carpet burn he just received on his elbows and how his collar was now tightly pulled against his neck. “Help. Help me please.”

“We have no time to humour your lies, Deceit!” snarled Logan.

“That’s right, we have to take care of Thomas, so get out of here,” snapped Roman shaking Anxiety by the collar.

“B-b-but it’s me. It’s really me.” Sobbed Anxiety “I’m not Deceit. I’m Virgil.”

“You don’t look like Virgil,” said Patton eying him nervously.

“D-Deceit changed me! He shapeshifted me,” pleaded Anxiety.

Roman looked down at the figure on the floor suspiciously “Well then change back!”

“ _I-I can’t!_ ” wailed Anxiety “You kno-

Suddenly over in Patton’s usual spot by the windows another figure suddenly materialized into existence out of thin air.

Patton pointed at him shrilly, “There another Deceit, there’s two! Clones. We are being attacked by clones. CLONE WARS!”

There was no doubt in Thomas’s mind that this was the real Deceit. He stood there, with a lazy arrogant confidence surveying the room, a smug smile stretched wide across his face and his eyes sparkled brightly with mischief.

“I am Virgil,” he said.

“NO! I’m Virgil,” whimpered the Deceit on the floor.

“I just said that,” said the second one waving a hand out nonchalantly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out who is Virgil and what Deceit was doing.  
> But what does Deceit find so funny?

Roman unapologetically released the Deceit he had grabbed by the collar in order to raise his sword again facing the new comer, but he still kept a guarded eye on the man at his feet. Was the Deceit on the floor really Virgil?

His attention snapped back to the second Deceit as he said, “My, my isn’t this a wonderful happy family gathering.”

“No,” cried Patton glancing back and forth to the two Deceits in the room, “I’m not happy. I’m very worried and confused. And a bit hungry. But definitely not happy.”

“I care _so_ much about how you are feeling Morality.” Deceit said with a small smile.

“Deceit desist your confounding and infuriating way of speaking in inverse and give us straight answers!” demanded Logic. Really it would be utterly impossible to work out what was going on if Deceit spoke in his usual manner – Patton would never be able to follow the conversation and at times neither would Roman, if Deceit made any attempts to flatter the royal.

A brief annoyed scowl crossed over the second Deceits features, “All right Logan.”

The first Deceit released by Roman, unable to stand, had crouched and crawled over to the base of the stairs where he sat on the step looking shaken and panic-stricken. He had pulled his cape around him as some sort of barrier of protection, his knuckles clutching the fabric so hard they had turned white.

This Deceit’s breathing was shaky and uneven, his skin (even the part covered with scales) as a sickly pale, his lips were quivering. His eyes kept darting back and forth between the second Deceit and the floor, as if he was afraid to even look at the other but at the same time terrified if he didn’t keep him in his sights the man would launch forward and attack him.  

This Deceit is the real Anxiety, thought Logan, and he looks like he’s gone through a worse anxiety attack than Thomas.

“Which one of you is Virgil?!?” shouted Patton and Roman at the same time.

Logan face palmed. In his peripheral vision Logan noticed that Thomas did too and felt a small jolt of pride that their host did that.

“Guys, guys – that is clearly Virgil,” said Thomas pointing at the Deceit on the stairs, who (hard to believe possible) now looked more distressed than before. The Deceit over in Patton’s spot struggled to hold back a bark of laughter at the Side’s question.

He gestured to himself with one hand “I am the real Deceit.” True to his word to Logan he avoided his usual ‘double negative always speaks in lies’ dialect. The Deceit on the stairs opened his mouth but no sound came out.

“But-How do we know this isn’t a trick? They both look the same down to the last detail. Quickly, Virgil change back – if Deceit tries to copy you we will know, remember how he couldn’t get Patton’s outfit quite right, the only reason this is perfect because he knows himself so well,” said Roman.

“Yes! Change back Virgil. I would know my babies face anywhere,” said Patton.

“I agree, it would make things a lot less confusing if Virgil was back to his normal form. And it would rule out the possibility that neither of these men are Virgil but Deceit and another fake,” added Logan.

Everyone stared at the at the Deceit at the bottom of the stairs, his eyes were misting over again.

This time the Deceit in Patton’s spot didn’t bother holding back his laughter, it rang through the room; cruel and mocking.

“What’s so funny?” snapped Thomas.

“You-you all – oh this is just precious – oops sorry promised not to do that- this is just _sad_ – I mean wow, look Virgil even in my black heart I can find some pity, I’ll help you out.” And Deceit waved his hands and suddenly purple clad Anxiety was crouched over in the stairwell. “I mean, I told you that they wouldn’t help you, didn’t I?

“Virgil!” shouted Patton happily as Virgil appeared breaking into applause. “I’m always ready to help my smol bean.”

“We will always help Virgil,” snapped Thomas.

“I am a heroic ferociously brave and handsome knight! I am always ready rush in and help those in need,” declared Roman.

“Your plan has failed Deceit, and will always fail, even if you turn Virgil into a copy of yourself to try and turn us against him, we will uncover the truth,” said Logan.

“Oh, are you sure about that Logan, because from where I’m standing 1, you didn’t seem to be doing a great job of recognising Anxiety before I showed up and 2, that wasn’t my plan. Although I will admit that does sound like a good idea.  I mean it’s not like it would take much, after all even with a different purple wrapping, a villain is still a villain.” Deceit said all of this to Logan but his eyes never left Virgil’s.

“Virgil is not a villain,” shouted Thomas.

Deceit looked at Thomas thoughtfully cocking his head to one side, “Maybe … he isn’t to you anymore,” Deceit muttered quietly “Pity the others don’t feel the same way.” Again, Deceit turned his gaze back to Virgil for this last part.

The sides all broke out in protest at this statement.

“The only _evil_ villain I see here is you!” growled Roman advancing forward pointing his sword at Deceit.

If this concerned Deceit, he showed no outward apprehension, on the contrary at Romans declaration he burst into a wide smile and a fit of giggles again looking at Virgil.

Thomas didn’t like the way he looked at him, it was as if Deceit was laughing at some sort of inside joke that only he and Virgil understood.

“Virgil is a part of our family,” said Patton.

Deceit scoffed, again looking at Virgil he muttered quietly “…just recently.” That inside joke look appeared again.

Roman growled again and stepped closer with that sword. Again, Deceit did not even flinch.

“Leave Deceit,” ordered Logan, “Whatever it is you are scheming it will not work. You are no match against the five of us. We have each other and together we can help one another overcome any threat or dire circumstances imaginable.”

“Oh Logan, how touching. That must be one of the most emotional speeches you have ever done…. But to be clear. You are saying that if Virgil is ever in trouble that you would always **be there** to help – correct?” asked Deceit.

“Of course,” replied Logic confidently.

Deceit chuckled again looking at Virgil – that damn inside joke smirk – what the hell was going on? Virgil broke eye contact this time and stared at the ground.

There was a pause. Finally, Deceit stretched his arms above his head as if he was tired and heading to bed, “Well I can honestly say that this worked out almost as well as I hoped, so until next time everybody take it easy gentleman, dames and-”

“Wait!” shouted Thomas. Everybody looked at him, why did he want this creep to stay.

“Deceit you said before that Logic was incorrect when he said that you changed Virgil in an attempt to trick us into thinking he was you. What were you actually doing?” asked Thomas.

Deceit smiled, a real warm genuine smile “I changed him for fun.”

“Fun?!?”

“Yes, simply for my entertainment. See it wasn’t just a copy of myself I changed him into.” To prove this point, he waved his hand over Virgil who flinched as he shifted quickly back into Deceit, then into Patton (it was heartbreaking to see Patton upset as Virgil was at that moment), then into Thomas’s Aunt Patty, into Anxiety when he was dressed in all black and then finally back into his usual form.

“I had such fun changing Virgil into all sorts of people,” smiled Deceit.

“But – but I don’t think Virgil liked doing that. He doesn’t look like he had fun at all,” said Patton sadly.

Deceits smile now became wider and crueller, “I know. I said that _**I**_ had fun playing with him, Morality. It didn't matter if Virgil didn’t like it or got upset about it, _as long as I was enjoying myself_. All of this was completely against his will,”

“That’s not right.”

“You creep.”

“You nasty piece of fragment.”

“Disgusting pathological disorder.”

But even as all these insults came flying at him, Deceit just looked down at Virgil and kept on smiling.

“I think I will take my leave until next time- OH- one more thing before I go, just an FYI since you’re all such a close family and all – what made it even more fun to do this to Virgil was… actually you know what, I’ll let Virge here tell you. We didn’t even get to the part about what I made him watch and listen to in my room while I shapeshifted him. Oopsie nearly made a lie of omission there.” And with that Deceit sunk down out of the room.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry there's a lot of Virgil yelling at the others sides.

Relief hit Virgil almost like a physical force when Deceit disappeared. But he didn’t really feel all that better. All he wanted to do now was to calm the f down.

He felt dizzy, he felt like he was going to be sick, there wasn’t enough air getting into his lungs no matter how deep his breaths were, he felt cold from all his sweat dripping off him and yet at the same time, like he was burning up with a fever. His skin was tingling he wanted to wrap something thick around himself for protection or was it he wanted to strip off everything because it was so confining and not have anything touch him at all or just jump into a shower and desperately try and get clean? Senses where still on high alert even though the danger had passed, he could feel adrenaline still coursing through his veins, everything was too bright, everything was too noisy.

Everything was too much. He needed to get out of here. To calm down and think rationally about what had happened. Simply have a little space to cope.

However, with Deceit’s parting message he wasn’t going to get that. Had Deceit planned that? Had he known that Virgil needed space and deliberately baited the others so that was the _last_ thing they were going to give him?

Because the second Deceit had gone the others had all surged towards him. So close. Too close.

“Virgil?” “What the hell happened?” “What did he do to you? “Tell us!” “Virgil.” “What was he talking about just then?” “What did he make you watch and listen to in his room?” “Why didn’t you change back?” “Why did he keep looking at you and laughing like that – what wasn’t he telling us?” “Virgil talk to us!”

“I-He. Guys stop. He-he shapeshifted me and-and-and. The room. And-and- I-I don’t want to talk -Not yet. Guys pl-please-stop.” Anxiety covered his ears with his hands to try and block out the noise. He needed quiet.

Too close. Too noisy. Too many questions.

They were touching him. They thought it was comforting. It wasn’t. He didn’t want to be touched. No. No. No. Stop. Hands. Grabbing his shoulders, his arms. Patton was hugging him. The others were trying to pull him into the living room. No. He needed to go to his room now!

He pulled away, tried to shake off the hands grabbing his arms. Tried to dislodge himself from Patton.

“Guys, stop, don’t touch me. I don’t w-w-want to be touched right now.”

They didn’t seem to hear him…or where they just not listening to him?

They were still all talking over each other “Virge what did he do to you?” “What was going on?” “What-”

“GUYS STOP!” cried Anxiety he managed to pull away and backed up to the stairs again.

“Virgil you need-”

“Listen, please. I-I just need to go to my room for a bit. I n-need to be alone-”

“No.” “Virgil you have to tell us what happened” “You can’t be alone.” So many voices, it was like Deceit’s room again.

Virgil tried again. “I need someplace dark and quite-”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” They grabbed his arms and pulled him again. He resisted but stumbled, everything was too much.

“Please I just need some space to calm down-”

“You can’t pretend whatever happened didn’t happen.”

“I-I’m not. It’s just -I’m not ready to talk about it right away and-”

“Come sit next to me and I’ll give you a big cuddle!”

“N-no I d-don’t want touching-”

“We’ll put on a movie – have a nice big sing-a-long.”

“T-too loud, please I just quite-”

“Before we put on a movie – we must make sure Deceit can’t pull a stunt like this again, we need to make a plan-”

“Oh, how about some cookies? get your strength up and-”

“P-please I feel sick, I just want to lie down-”

“We need to start from the beginning – Virgil how did Deceit-”

“Maybe we can have secret code names!”

“JUST STOP!” screamed Virgil. He had pulled his hands over his ears again and screwed his eyes tight.

The others did stop this time and stared at him blankly.

Virgil stood up and swayed but managed to walk back to his spot at the stairs, someone tried grabbing his arm again but he roughly shook them off.

“Will you just _listen_ to me for one minute!” demanded Virgil staring out at all of them.

“I don’t want any of this. I don’t need any of this. What I need is to go to my room and be alone for a while. I just need to calm down. You have no idea what I just went through-”

“Exactly. Which is why you must remain here.” “You have to tell us what happened.” “And we can help you calm down and-”

“OH, FOR GOD’S SAKE – WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP FOR ONCE!”

“Virgil-”

“NO. You guys always do this. You never listen to me. Or everything I say is immediately dismissed. Because you all have such better ideas apparently.”

“Well, we do-”

“Enough. I just want to calm down! I have gone through sensory overload and an anxiety attack-”

“We know. We looked after Thomas while you were with Deceit. So, we can-”

Anxiety screamed in frustration.

“SHUT UP. _YOU_ LOOKED AFTER THOMAS? – NO. I LOOKED AFTER THOMAS! THAT IS MY JOB. THAT IS ALL I EVER TRY TO DO. DESPITE EVERYTHING DECEIT WAS DOING TO ME I HELD THE ANXIETY BACK FROM HIM IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME-”

Thomas suddenly gasped and collapsed to the floor. **Oh. My. God.** He had never experienced anxiety like _this_ before. The others all panicked but as quickly as it had hit Thomas it was gone, or at the very least he was back to about what he was feeling before.

“Virgil -what were you _thinking_?!? How could you do that-”

“THAT GOT YOUR ATTENTION, DIDN’T IT? YOU THINK YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW I’M FEELING RIGHT NOW? WELL NOW ONE OF YOU DOES! IF THOMAS TOLD YOU RIGHT NOW THAT ALL HE WANTED TO DO WAS GO AND LIE DOWN, YOU WOULD LET HIM! IF THOMAS SAID THAT ALL OF YOU TALKING AT ONCE WAS TOO LOUD AND OVERWELLING YOU WOULD SHUT UP! IF THOMAS SAID THAT IT’S TOO BRIGHT IN HERE THAT THE LIGHTS HURTING HIS EYES YOU WOULD LET HIM GO SOMEWHERE WHERE IT’S DARKER! IF THOMAS SAID THAT RIGHT NOW HIS SKIN FELT SOMEONE HAD RUBBED HIM OVER WITH SANDPAPER AND TOUCHING HIM WAS AS HORRIBLE AS SLAPPING SOMEONE WITH SUNBURN YOU WOULDN’T TOUCH HIM! IF THOMAS SAID THAT HE JUST WANTED TO CALM DOWN AND WASN’T READY TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED WITH DECEIT JUST YET, YOU WOULDN’T HARASS AND TRY AND FORCE HIM TO!”

Everybody was staring petrified at Virgil after this outburst. Virgil was breathing heavily again, he had pinpricks of stars in front of his eyes. “So _why_ is it different with me?”

“Vi-Virgil, just-just take it easy okay. We’re just trying to help! It’s not our fault that Deceit hurt you-” stammered Roman in shock.

Virgil didn’t shout anymore but tears had started falling down his cheeks.

“Actually, it is.”

Virgil rubbed his eyes, nobody said a word about the eyeshadow going everywhere.

“Because of your idea,” He looked at Roman, “And your video,” glancing over at Thomas. “Deceit and the whole internet - now knows that; One, I don’t like being shapeshifted and two, I can’t change myself back if another side shifts me. I don’t know why I have that weakness. I guess because creativity is not my department – I can change myself but I can’t break the hold over another person’s illusion forced on me. And I hate that sudden change, that I can’t control, that I can’t fix, literally being shoved into another person’s skin creeps me out. And so, I was at Deceit’s mercy, begging him to change me back.”

Again, Virgil wiped the tears off his face.

“And-and, well as you can see he didn’t. Just… just like you guys. That’s one of the reasons he was grinning like a maniac just now. When you got mad at him when he admitted that he didn’t care if I liked it or if I got upset by it – he found that funny. Because you were all hypocrites. And he also found it so funny just then that you all forgot that I can’t change back on my own. He kept telling me over and over again that you wouldn’t help me because you didn’t last time. I-I didn’t believe him – but-you all forgot -and, I got scared- how you would react if-if I appeared as s-someone else and-,” Virgil was sobbing properly now.

“Oh, Virge please, we’re so sorry-”

Virgil brought up his hands quickly and waved them our around himself, he didn’t want them coming any closer. “Stop, just stop please, I know. I know okay, I d-don’t want to listen to him, to any of the things he showed me in there but-but it’s just hard being with you guys right now. Please I need some space. I just want to be alone. I just want to calm down. You-you’ve never helped _me_ to calm down before from an anxiety attack or sensory overload and-and after everything that Deceit replayed for me, I don’t think this is a good time for you guys to try…. I’ll see you later.”

And with that wrapping his arms around himself Anxiety sunk out of the commons into the oasis of calm, quiet and familiar comfort that was his bedroom, his noise cancelling headphones looked like the holy grail hanging casually on his bedpost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think deep down Virgil wished he could yell like that at Deceit :(


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sides don't know what to do :(

The others didn’t know what to do with themselves after Anxiety left. Nobody wanted to be the one to start talking about what just happened, about what Virgil had just said.

The Sides and Thomas, fidgeted – they fixed their clothes unnecessarily, ran their hands through their hair, adjusted their glasses. They let out deep sighs, the kind that puff out your cheeks as you release air, avoiding eye contact with each other.

Finally, “Fellas, wh-what are we going to do?” asked Morality his eyes pleading for the others to have answers, to make things better, to do something to make it okay for him to hug his smol bean again.

“I-I don’t know Patton,” replied Thomas, after another encounter with Deceit, he couldn’t lie to Morality right now.

“We um should…” Logan trailed off, starting his sentence with no idea on how to finish it.

“We should go and slay Deceit!” snarled Roman causing everyone to jump “This is all his fault!”

“Roman no we can’t -violence is never the answer.” “We are all parts of Thomas – I don’t know if we can die.” “That really wouldn’t help Virgil right now.”

Roman stamped his foot angrily. What was wrong with his idea!?

Thomas pulled out his phone and started to play his “Making Some Changes” video.  He got passed the part where he was talking with Roman and Patton in his Mind Palace and past the part where he took the sides back to his apartment and Patton’s emotional dialog “ _With you I’m always home_.” Then he got to the part where Anxiety appeared and he groaned loudly, the fist he had raised in the air dropping like a balloon tied to a lead weight. “ _Disappointing. So close._ ” Said Roman and Logan in the video, only Patton greeted him with any enthusiasm.

“Thomas.” snapped Roman, “Do you really have to watch that right now?” he sounded angry. The video kept playing, their heard Anxiety talk about how he was on their side and about lessening of steady constants in his life.

“Well, I-I just wanted to see again how Virgil reacted to being shapeshifted.” said Thomas. He winced as he heard his own voice in the video harshly and angrily address Anxiety _“I hate it when you're just vague!”_

“And-and both Deceit and Virgil said that they made him watch something – it was probably this.” reasoned Thomas.

“You don’t know that!” argued Roman.

“What else could it possibly be?” demanded Thomas.

“I -I have to agree with Roman, Thomas you are making an assumption, we do not have enough information to accurately know exactly what Deceit made Virgil watch.” said Logan.

“See there Thomas, Pocket Protector agrees with me – you’re outnumbered!”

“I’m the one in charge!”

“Look at how well that works out half the time!”

“What does that even _mean_?”

“Thomas, Roman please stop – this isn’t helping.” cried Patton, as the video in the background _“Look let’s not read into this and make it any more angsty than it has to be. We all know that I’m a bit- Dismal, Monochromatic, Spicy – Whatever! And your really good friends…. They… help me out-They provide constancy.”_ Thomas looked down and saw Virgil push back his hair as he got the last part out. That was a nervous tick, thought Thomas suddenly, I do that when I’m worried or nervous or self-conscious talking to someone.

“Will you just turn that **off** Thomas.” pouted Roman.

Thomas paused the video and put his phone back into his pocket, sighing he asked, “Why is this getting you so wound up?”

“I believe -hold on-” said Logan quickly looking through his vocab cards “You are… rubbing salt into the wound.”

“Oh,” replied Thomas looking at Princey.

Roman huffed crossing his arms over his chest and looked away.

“I don’t know much about emotions or feelings but… Virgil explicitly stated in that video that he did not want to shapeshift, and asked us to cease changing him several times. Which we did not. So that would have made him feel …upset.” Logan finished awkwardly lowering his eyes.

Patton’s eyes filled with tears “I-I didn’t help him. Deceit’s right – we are hippo crickets!”

“No! Deceit – Deceit just wanted to cause trouble. We aren’t like that, we aren’t like him- We didn’t mean -we just -we were just trying to help Thomas!” exclaimed Roman.

Thomas bit his bottom lip. He was in charge. He was the real person. Every other side was just a fragment of his personality. Did-did that make it okay disregard one of their feelings just to make him happy? His stomach knotted guilty. That didn’t even happen – changing the sides to pretend he had his friends with him to keep him happy, hadn’t worked– another thing Virgil kept repeating but no one listened to that either. They had put Anxiety through all that for nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay just letting you know that for the next 2 weeks I am going to be super busy with work and family and if I believe my government my regular work commute is going to change from 40mins to something like 3hours, so I don't know how frequently I will get to update fic but I will do my best.  
> I actually only got to write this chapter because I am waiting for someone and they are late.


	6. Chapter 6

They had decided to go and find Deceit. To find out exactly what he had done to Virgil.

Thomas hoped that this was a good idea, after all they didn’t even know how long Deceit had been changing Virgil for, before he appeared in the commons… what if it was hours?

Thomas was nervous – what were the chances Deceit would cooperate? Honestly tell them what they wanted to know with no tricks or lies. Highly unlikely. But Logan said that this was their best option right now, and if he outright lied they would just have to take the exact opposite of what he was saying to convert it to the truth.

Roman agreed with the idea that they should talk to Deceit. But Thomas suspected that he actually wanted to get close enough to the Side to knock his teeth out by claiming he would go along with their plan to just question the Side and not resort to violence.

And Patton. Well Patton really didn’t want to go and see Deceit. But he was outnumbered and Logan had gone “Patton, don’t you want to help Virgil?” “Yes, of course.” “Good – then we are going to locate Deceit and find out what he did to him.”

Thomas suspected Patton just wanted to wait for Virgil to come back – hoping that it wouldn’t take long before Virgil reappeared back in the commons saying everything was fine. Thomas knew Patton was very worried that Virgil might appear or call for them while they were off doing this mission. But Thomas had a feeling that Virgil wasn’t going to come out of his room for a very long time.

The four of them focused on getting into Deceit’s area of Thomas’s mind. Thomas thought maybe they would end up in the Mind Theatre/Auditorium where they did Princey’s acting scenarios or his Negative Thinking debate. But then he remembered that both Roman and Logan had designed those.

But he was still surprised to find themselves in a bright, large ballet studio. There were the traditional full wall to ceiling mirrors on the walls either of side of them, a wooden bar running horizonal across the middle of them. Behind them was a plain white wall with a single wooden door that led out of the room and in front of them there were two large arched windows that were letting the beautiful afternoon sun stream into the room. And over in the corner of the room sitting on a chair just underneath one of the windows was Deceit reading quietly.

He looked up from his book and gave a smirk.

“Such a pleasure to see you all again so soon. You should have called ahead, I wouldn’t have made tea and Crofter’s jam scones. Oh. Virgil isn’t with you? That’s so sad and an unexpected.”

“…yes, it is sad.” said Patton quietly. Deceit rolled his eyes.

“Again, desist in the double speak.” said Logan, with a slight nod at Patton.

Deceit huffed and crossed his arms, rising from his chair and walking closer to the sides. Although it was meant to happen, as Deceit walked in front of the mirror and his reflection was shown multiple times over, it made the others uneasy as if their foe was suddenly multiplied. Thomas placed his hand on Roman’s arm as he visibly tensed up ready to attack.

“So… you must be here to ask me to teach you – correct?” asked Deceit.

“Wh-what?” stammered Patton, looking around the room (He did like dancing.)

“You want me to teach you how to lie more convincingly to Virgil, because if your performances downstairs were anything to go by – I mean, yikes. Thomas, Roman you two are supposed to be good at acting, but if you-”

“What are you talking about?” interrupted Thomas.

Deceit raised an eyebrow. “Lying to Virgil- about being a Side that can actually contribute anything beneficial to you, Thomas. About wanting him around. About wanting him to be your friend, your fami-”

“We weren’t lying to Virgil!” said Patton his voice high pitched and distressed.

“We were not “performing” downstairs. And we would never want to learn anything from you.” snapped Roman.

Deceit raised his other eyebrow in amusement “Then why are you here?”

“We want you to tell us exactly what you did to Virgil.” Logan said in a clear voice.

Deceit smiled, “Really…. Why?”

“Because-because we want to help him.” said Thomas, he felt defensive why should he have to justify their reasons to this man?

“Oh yes of course, worried he will duck out again.”

Thomas shifted on his feet nervously, honestly the idea that Virgil might duck out again hadn’t crossed his mind, had Deceit upset him so bad that he might try and cut himself off from everyone again?

“I guess that’s why the rest of you haven’t been doing the whole shapeshifting thing anymore?” the snake made it sound like a question but he didn’t’ wait for an answer. “You guys had such fun changing him for that video. But you can’t do stuff like that anymore, you must pretend to actually _like_ him now, can’t insult him anymore in case that hurts his feelings, can’t try and make him leave video’s anymore, can’t try and get rid of him anymore – can you? Anxiety found his ace in the hole, hasn’t he with the whole ducking out thing, finally something he can use to stop you guys treating him like garbage.” He stepped closer looking directly at Thomas, “You all try and pretend that you’re one big happy family, but that’s only because you all succeeded in _making_ Anxiety leave once, and -what a cruel irony – Thomas can’t function _without_ his Anxiety!” Deceit threw his head back and laughed.

Roman stepped forward prepared to give Deceit an up close and personal introduction to the knuckles on his left hand but the others held him back.

Deceit smiled again, “Roman, Roman – why getting so worked up? Unless I hit a nerve? Hit something a little close to home hmm? Judging by the looks on your faces you all are in denial – all the more power to me. It would be so convenient for all of you if I was the bad guy here. And you know what – I am. But… that doesn’t mean that I’m the only one – does it?”

“Stop trying to deflect! Tell us what you did to Virgil!” snapped Logan.

“Tell you? How about I show you?” said Deceit.

There was silence with Deceit just staring at the others and them glaring back. Ever so slowly he shifted his eyes over to the side, in the others peripheral vison they saw something in one of the ballet mirrors.

It was Virgil but he was dressed in his old black clothes. He…he looked so sad.

“Virgil!” cried Patton running towards the mirror “Patton – that’s not Virgil, that’s just an illusion!” said Logan but Patton slapped his hands on the mirror trying to touch is sweet anxious baby. But the mirror Virgil just continued to look sad and then slowly sunk down inside the mirror ignoring Patton who was trying to get him to stay.

When the mirror Virgil disappeared completely, Patton dropped his hands from the mirror (there where not handprints on the glass) and walked sadly back over to the group.

“So, you tormented Virgil with fake copies of himself while you changed is appearance.” said Logan.

“Fake? There wasn’t anything fake about that image. In fact, _you_ were responsible for that one, Logan.”

Suddenly the sad mirror Virgil in black clothes reappeared but this time next to him was a mirror Logan _“Well, I’ve always had my doubts on creating something entirely original, **BUT I’M NO DEFEATIST**.”_   The mirror Logan’s volume seemed to get louder on the last part and then it paused, the Logan frozen in the mirror was looking over towards the Anxiety with a smirk on its face. Mirror Anxiety frowned with confusion and dropped its eyes to the floor.

The real Logan looked very shaken, “I-I see. Well-I think we have seen enough-”

A door slammed behind them making them all jump.

“I don’t think you have seen enough at all.” said Deceit. And slowly he started manically laughing again, louder and louder. The wooden ballet bars on the mirrors fell to the floor and burst into flames, turning into ash instantly.

Patton broke away from the group and ran towards to door. “Patton, wait!” shouted Thomas taking a few steps after him. And in that moment that the group of four split up – so did the mirrors. The mirrors did not shatter or break. Instead they broke into long separate panels, still reaching to the ceiling and they started to shift and slide off the wall into all different directions through the room. Everything was a blur as the Sides and Thomas saw each other through the shifting glass and as quickly as it started the mirrors had stopped and each side was faced with only their own reflection – except Logan and Roman who were still close enough to each other to not be separated.

“Logan, what just happened?” asked Roman.

“He-he’s made a maze, a mirror maze.” replied Logan nervously.

The two of them stared around the room; their own reflections staring back several times over. Logan was right, there were gaps between some of the panel mirrors for them to move through.

Suddenly Roman started laughing.

“What?” Logan started to ask then stopped when he caught sight of his image in the mirrors and realized Roman was laughing at him. His hair had turned from its brown with faded purple highlights to a bright full rainbow.

“Oh Princey stop being so immature! We have to find the others.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, things have calmed down in my real life and so I will try and get back into writing again, sorry for the long wait -it's hard to do this when you have family staying and they want to literally sit next to you and say "I'll just watch what you are doing." when you open your laptop.

Roman doubled over laughing at the sight of Logan’s rainbow hair. Logan scowled deeply at him. This was humiliating – purple had been bad enough when Thomas had dyed their hair but full rainbow? There wasn’t even any order to it! Just random patches of every colour possible scattered all over his head.

It was ridiculous, it was ludicrous, it was- it was **_Patton_ ** level silly!

Logan crossed his arms, “Roman! Enough of your absurdities, we need-” Logan stopped abruptly, his mouth gaping as he felt another change occur with his hair. Each little patch of rainbow colour on his head had been separated and tied up with a ribbon and bow of an opposite colour.  He felt the change because the ties were done up a little too tightly, they pulled at his hair uncomfortably.

His mouth hung open in horror – how was it possible to make him look even more ridiculous?! But now his head was rainbow _and_ covered with miniature ponytails with bows, it was like something out of a slumber party extravaganza.

“Grrr,” growled Logan turning away from Roman, who was clutching his stomach with laughter, and tried to pull the bows out of his hair. “It’s not _that_ funny!”

He tugged – hard, but the little bows wouldn’t budge. In every mirror surrounding them he could see his angry face and his bright rainbow head, there was no way to escape it – left, right, front, behind him – there was rainbow hair Logan!

Augh! Logan concentrated fiercely on his normal hair to change back. It did, but he winced – he felt a jolt of pain, like when someone give you a static shock but right now he didn’t care because he was back to normal.

Roman wiped tears away from his eyes, “That was simply fabulous.”

“Yes, simply hilarious now – OH really? Must you?!?” snapped Logan as Roman snorted with laughter again as Logan’s hair turned rainbow again but this time into the traditional rainbow stripes going across his head. The tight enclosed space of the mirrors seemed to make Roman’s laughter echo and multiply. And not only did every mirror have a rainbow haired Logan but every mirror had a laughing Prince in it too. Logan felt his face flush and not just from anger anymore but from embarrassment, all the mirrors of Roman made it feel like he was standing in the middle of a crowd.

And they were all looking and laughing at him.

Logan shoved Roman, “Roman cut it out. Now.” It wasn’t a hard shove but Roman still stepped back and accidently bumped into one of the mirrors – it was so hard to accurately gauge distance between everything here. Roman fought to stop his laughter, Logan looked around nervously – did the mirror copies laugh just a bit longer after Roman had stopped? No, no he must be paranoid.

Logan wished the blush on his face would just disappear faster. Roman wasn’t laughing anymore but was still smirking and trying to hide chuckles behind his hand, “Hmm I think I liked your first style better.”

“How my hair is styled or coloured is of no relevance and does not concern me in the slightest! But this is clearly distracting you from our more pressing concerns which is finding Thomas and Patton!” said Logan. He concentrated on changing his hair back to its original state. He winced as a stronger static shock jolted him this time. But- his hair remained unchanged – it was still a bright rainbow.

Roman noticed Logan pained wince, “Are you alright?”

Butterflies fluttered nervously in Logan’s stomach as he saw that his hair was still multicoloured. He swallowed nervously, “I-I feel satisfactory but we are wasting time, undo the change you have done to my hair so we can go and fine the others.”

Roman blinked. “Um I-I didn’t do that.” He said gesturing to Logan’s hair.

Logan’s stomach dropped. “What?” asked Roman as a looked of horror and understanding appeared on Logan’s face.

“Deceit.” He hissed looking around wildly half expecting the side to appear, “I thought you changed my hair but-”

“Why did you think I would be changing your hair?” interrupted Roman “Did you actually forget we came here because Deceit had spent the morning changing Virgil’s appearance?”

“But,” continued Logan ignoring Roman’s interruption, “It is obviously Deceit so-”

Roman suddenly started screaming – a high pitched terrified scream. Logan saw in the mirrors what he was screaming about and he started screaming too.

His hair was on fire.

Bright red and orange flames danced upon his head. He screamed and screamed and screamed. He flailed and battered the fire with his hands frantically trying to put it out. Roman started swatting the flames too while Logan panicking running this way and that – bashing into the sides of the mirrors, water he needed water! But there was no water here! There was nowhere to run. He was trapped between the mirrors, he had to watch dozens of copies of himself burn.

Roman finally was able to yell some words at him in between his own screams “DROP AND ROLL, DROP AND ROLL!”

Logan dropped to the floor and desperately tried to roll his head on the ground – there was so little room, it was cramped when the two of them were standing upright – he could barely lay down. Suddenly something white covered his vision. Roman had ripped off his top and was trying to smother the flames. Roman’s shirt muffled Logan’s screams, he pulled it away and almost collapsed with relief to see that the fire was out.

He grabbed Logan and hugged him to his chest sobbing, “Logan, oh Logan.”

The two stayed there for who knows how long, clutching each other for support, gasping and crying. Roman cradling Logan like a mother holding her small child, rocking him gently and making shushing noises, running his hands gently down his back and through his hair. His hair…huh?

Slowly Logan sat up and looked in the mirrors. His hair was back to normal. He brought his hands up and touched his head – it _hurt_ but-but it wasn’t _burned._

Logan realized that his head was hurting from knocking it on the ground to try and put out the flames, he didn’t have any injuries from the fire at all.

“Lo-Logan it’s okay, we’ll get you out of here – to a hospital and-and” stuttered Roman still looking terrified.

“Roman, I am alright. It was an illusion – the fire wasn’t real.” said Logan quietly.

Roman looked at him, and gently brushed his hand through his hair again – he was so scared, struggling to understand, he saw the fire but now he wasn’t seeing any injuries – he didn’t know what to believe.

“It – it wasn’t real. You-You’re okay?”

“I-I’m okay. I’m okay.” Logan repeated, reassuring himself as much as he was reassuring Roman. “It wasn’t real. I’m okay. It was an illusion, it wasn’t real.”

Logan took some deep breaths – and the fact that he could not smell smoke or-or burnt flesh (he shuddered at the thought), was another confirmation that it had all been a lie. He had panicked when he saw the flames and he hadn’t realized that he hadn’t felt any pain on his head or on his hands when he tried to put out the fire and Roman’s shirt was completely intact (but now needed to be ironed).

Roman gently wiped away a tear from under his eye with his thumb. Logan blinked rapidly – he didn’t realise he had started crying. Roman quickly put his shirt back on and readjusted his sash.

“Come on lets find the others and get the hell out of here.”

“Agreed.” Logan got to his feet shakily and the two slowly started walking through the gaps in the mirror maze.

As they rounded a corner Logan gasped in fright at the sight in front of him. Deceit!

Roman saw him too and let out a vicious snarl and charged forward at him. Deceit mimicked Roman’s expression and copied his action racing forward to meet him head on – **oh**.

“Roman wait- _stop_!” cried Logan too late.

Roman smashed faced first into a mirror. He fell to the floor, holding his nose in pain.

“Ow, ow, ow, owie – wha?” he muttered thickly through his fingers as he looked up to see Deceit had fallen to the ground also in the exact position he was in. Logan raced forward, kneeling beside him and held him by the shoulders “Roman – are you alright?”

Roman didn’t answer Logan, he was looking forward in the mirror because Logan in the mirror had raced forward and knelt beside Deceit, holding him by the shoulders too. Roman pulled his hands away from his aching nose and looked down at his gloved hands – wait gloves?

He was wearing yellow gloves. Roman looked straight ahead at Deceit, Roman slapped both his hands to the side of his face – Deceit mirrored this action. Oh no. No, no, no, no!

“Roman, it’s okay – it’s just a trick, just an illusion!” said Logan hurriedly.

Roman screamed again – how was this okay?!? His beautiful face had SCALES!


	8. Chapter 8

Patton rotated slowly on the spot taking in all of the mirrors that had now surrounded him. He did a quick count. 

"Wow are there six people in here or is it just me?"

He laughed at his own Dad joke. Then he put his hands on his hips and said seriously "Well it's obvious what must be done now."

He stuck out his tongue and blew a loud obnoxious raspberry. All his mirror images copied him exactly.  Patton giggled excitedly and then proceeded to make more and more funny faces in the mirrors, sticking his tongue out, rolling his eyes, using his hands to squish and contort his face into all sorts of silly expressions, it was so much fun.

Then he gasped as he noticed that one of the mirror copies had changed - it was different to the others. This one had mirror had distorted so Patton's reflection was extra wide and fat. 

Patton quickly walked closer to it. He was so big, his belly nearly stretched to take up the whole width of the mirror, he was like Santa Claws! He moved his hips forwards and back making his mirror stomach wiggle and bounce. It was exactly like those funhouse mirrors at the circus. Then Patton noticed that the other mirrors had changed too, one he was extra skinny, one he was like an hourglass going parts of him going wide and others skinny, one he was upside down, another he was sideways and back to front - he could see what it looked like to scratch the back of his head in that one. Patton had no idea how long he spend playing with each of the mirrors but suddenly they changed back to normal. 

"Aww." he said in a disappointed voice. He waited to see if they would change back, making a few more funny faces to see if that helped but it didn't. 

Oh well, he thought, I should probably go find the others - oh maybe Roman can think of some more funny faces to make he's so creative, hmm but not that one where you fold your eyelids back I don't like that it's too creepy for me and- 

Patton found a gap in the mirrors that he could walk along like a corridor, he hoped he could find the others soon. The longer he walked though the more nervous he felt. Something wasn't right. He wondered if the mirrors were doing their special tricks again. 

Because he was sure as he was walking sometimes the reflections of him would disappear and then suddenly flick back to normal if he looked at them. As he pressed forward again he was sure the mirrors were doing magic tricks again because he _knows_ that he's smiling but none of the mirror Patton's are. To prove this he stops in front of one of the mirrors and does the biggest grin he can manage but his reflection just looks back at him blankly. Patton doesn't really like that trick. He decides to keep moving hopefully to find the others but he feels nervous again as he suddenly remembers Logic telling him that if he ever got lost he was to stay in one spot and let the other sides to come find him. Oops. 

So maybe I should stand here and wait for the others to come? thought Patton, we are all in the maze together I'm sure they will be along any minute now except Virgil because he's not here, he's-

Patton's shoulders dropped as he remembered what had happened to Virgil. He crossed his arms angrily as he remembered that Deceit had been mean to Virgil. 

"It's not right to laugh at others. Deceit was a very naughty boy meanie pants to do that to Virgil. We are all going to make Virgil feel better."

Patton's not sure why he said this out loud but when he did suddenly all of his reflections in the mirrors vanished. 

Patton gulped nervously but nothing happened. He waited and waited and waited. The waiting was unnerving. Patton suddenly found that he didn't want to be here anymore and that it wasn't as fun as he thought it was. 

It was like that Jack-in-a-Box toy. It starts off fun with music and turning a lever but then you have to keep turning the lever and it keeps playing the music and it's suspenseful and you know something is going to happen but you don't know when and then BAMP Jack jumps out at you. This had started off fun with Patton playing with the funny mirrors but now mirrors keep doing things and something is going to happen and he doesn't know what or when and he's all alone and -

"Yikes!" yelps Patton his reflection suddenly reappears in one mirror only, the closest one he's standing right next to. The rest of the mirrors stay blank. Patton doesn't really want to but he looks at his reflection just because there's nothing else to look at. There nothing funny or different about this reflection it's just normal. 

Again he waited and waited. He looked nervous in the mirror. He wished the others would hurry up and find him - they wouldn't leave him would they? Just as this unpleasant thought sprang to mind something even worse happened, Patton saw on his reflection in the mirror something move. On his shoulder creeping up slowly was something long and hairy. Patton started to shake as he saw they were legs as a very large spider crawled up and sat on his shoulder. 

Patton screamed in absolute terror as he jumped and started batting at his shoulder tearing his eyes away from the mirror to get that monstrosity off his arm. 

"HELP, GET OFF, HELP, HELP PLEASE!"

Patton ran away from the spot he was just standing in, spinning around wildly to see where the spider was but he couldn't see it anywhere.   
  
"Where is it? Is it off me? Help!"

After several minutes of Patton desperately searching for the spider and quadruple checking that it wasn't on him, he noticed that another mirror had his reflection back in it. He hesitantly approached it and the first thing he did was to turn to check again that the spider wasn't hiding on his back.

He breathed a shaky sigh of relief that was extremely short lived as he saw in the mirror coming up behind him on the ground - not one - but at least half a dozen large spiders crawling on the floor towards him. He screamed even louder than before quickly whipping around to face the incoming death plague while scrabbling backwards attempting to defy physics by trying to climb up the flat mirror surface backwards. He was so terrified that it took him several moments to process that there wasn't actually anything coming towards him, there was nothing behind him at all. Patton stayed pressed back against the mirror staring at the ground as his eyes watered.

There's nothing there, there's nothing there, he thought desperately, nothing there, it's a trick, nothing there. 

Patton turned and looked back into the mirror and shrieked and ran away from it because the mirror showed that the spiders had reached him and were now starting to crawl up his legs. Even though he could see that nothing was there that didn't stop Patton from swatting his legs in the spots where the imaginary spiders would be. 

"St-stop it. T-t-that's n-not funny. L-leave me alone." stuttered Patton. 

The spot were Patton had run to all the mirrors had changed back to normal so all Patton had to look at was his own distressed reflection several times over. Patton kept glancing frantically between the mirrors expecting one or all of them to change to show spiders somewhere any minute now but thankfully they didn't. Patton sniffed loudly and wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve even though he knows that you should use a tissue, all those horrible spiders had made him cry a little bit. 

He decided that he was going to keep moving and find the others he didn't want to wait around for the others to find him anymore. He hoped he would find the way out or the others soon or even better the others and the way out at the same time or the others and the way out and a nice fluffy puppy. He was definitely going to ask Roman to conjure more puppies later when they were back in the living room. Puppies made everything better. 

He was thinking about puppies when he turned a corner and saw his smol bean. "Virgil!" he cried running up to hug him smacking straight into the mirror. Virgil wasn't real. Disappointment crashed into Patton just as hard as he crashed into that mirror. 

"Why do you look so upset hmm? Thomas isn't here right now you know, you don't have to pretend to like him now Morality." purred Deceit in a sly voice. 

Patton jumped. Deceit was standing behind him leaning on one of the mirrors. 


	9. Chapter 9

"What are you talking about Deceit?" asked Patton sniffing again. He hoped Deceit hadn't had anything to do with those spiders. But he probably did, it was his dance hall now maze that the sides had come into. Patton made a mental note that after he left he would look a good exterminator and give the number to Deceit. 

"I mean you don't have to pretend that you actually like Anxiety at the moment. Thomas isn't here to witness your goodie two shoes act. Save your breath." said Deceit with a smirk. 

"But-but I'm not pretending - I do like Anxiety. That little kiddo is awesome! With his pretty make up and baggy clothes." replied Patton. 

Deceit rolled his eyes. "Look Patton, I know you feel responsible as Thomas's morals to be the one that has to take on the responsibility of dealing with Anxiety, to keep him under control and everything. But you don't have to do it all the time - that must be so exhausting keeping up that act. In front of Anxiety and in front of Thomas."

"It isn't an act!"

"Oh really?"

"Yes really. Really, really."

"Please we all know it's just because Anxiety is a part of Thomas that you put up with him at all. I don't know if you figured out before Anxiety "ducked out" that he was actually needed and started buttering him up a bit before his big departure. I mean its not like the others would have taken you seriously if you tried to tell them that at least a bit of Anxiety was needed for Thomas to function. I mean they would have shot you down immediately - completely questioned your sanity. Only after Virgil's drastic actions did those three realise that Thomas was stuck with that creep. But I think you might have figured it out just beforehand huh? Just a little bit? And you did just enough for Anxiety to see you as a "good guy" and with all the crap flying at him from the other three all you had to do was the bare minimum didn't you."

"No, no you're wrong - I've always liked Virgil. I have I-"

"Now is that really true Patton?" asked Deceit mockingly. 

Patton was about to reply when suddenly one of his own reflections said in a loud clear voice  _"Well, what about Anxiety? He ALWAYS SEEMS TO GET YOU DOWN."_

Patton flinched at how loud the sound was. Deceit smiled "That doesn't sound like something someone who thinks someone is there family would say about them."

"That-I- it's not." stuttered Patton. 

"I mean wow - telling Thomas that Virgil always gets him down, gee no wonder there was an entire video dedicated to -"

Deceit snapped his fingers. Suddenly Thomas was in one of the mirrors doing a very nifty shoulder roll.  _"Well right now I hope and dream to get rid of my Anxiety!"_

"- Thomas trying to quit his Anxiety. You didn't even bother to show up to protect your "smol bean" did you. Princey was even in your spot." 

Patton swallowed nervously. He jumped again as he heard Lilly's voice from somewhere call out " _YA NASTY."_

"Admit Patton. Everyone - including you were happy with how Thomas's first two Sanders sides video's were done -without Anxiety physically there but just as a mere presence that you didn't have to interact with. You didn't want him there!"

"No, no that's not true-"

Deceit snapped his fingers again. 

One mirror showed Anxiety appearing but instead of greeting him the mirror Patton bites his lips and stares at him wide eyed -"That's how you greeted him for his first group Sander side video, not too happy to see him in the flesh were you Patton?" said Deceit. 

Another mirror has Patton looking at another Anxiety  _"Now Anxiety if you don't want to participate, YOU CAN SIT THIS ONE OUT."_

Patton bit his nails nervously - he thought he had always been super nice to Virgil. 

"I-I-I do like Anxiety." muttered Patton quietly. 

"And lets not forget all those times Roman said mean things to him and you did nothing." And again Deceit snapped his fingers and Roman appeared throwing out insults at Virgil and Patton was standing there doing nothing. The real Patton felt guilty as he saw how upset Anxiety got - he hadn't noticed at the time. 

Then Deceit showed all the parts of Making Some Changes Video where Virgil was getting upset at being changed but at each time Virgil asked them to stop Deceit would play the part in a super loud volume of at the end where Patton said "AT LEAST IT WAS FUN." or the part "AWW, HE'S LIKE A LITTLE KITTEN NOW" - again Patton didn't notice at the time how Virgil bit his lips and looked really upset when he said that. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of Patton feeling sad and now questioning himself because of Deceit and the room.

Patton stared down at his shoes. He didn’t want to look at the mirrors anymore, he didn’t want to look at Deceit anymore, he didn’t – he didn’t know what he wanted anymore!

He felt yucky, like he was going to be sick.

Patton didn’t even notice that he was alone now. Deceit as quickly as he had come, had vanished again. But that wasn’t important. Patton needed to think. Deceit had given him so much to think about.

Was Patton a good boy? He had always thought so. He had always thought he was nice and kind and a wonderful person. That’s why he was the best for Thomas’s morality wasn’t it? Because he was so good?

But was he? Was he really?

Patton wasn’t so sure now. After everything Deceit had said. Was he really a good person? Was he really nice? Or was it all an act?

Patton didn’t think it was an act, he knew he really liked Thomas – that kiddo was so great, and he wanted him to make the right choices, to do the morally right thing.

But- _but_ was Patton acting with Anxiety? Deceit said that Patton was acting with Anxiety. Just pretending to be friends. Just to try and get his own way. To make Thomas do what he thought was the right thing to do and not listen to his anxiety. Because sometimes doing the right thing could make you very anxious. But if Patton soothed his anxiety then Thomas could make that decision; to do the right thing – easier.

Deceit said that Patton was the opposite of Roman and Logan.

Roman and Logan _fight_ with Anxiety. When it came to something Creativity or Logic wanted or their point of view that clashed with Thomas’s anxiety, _they_ were _aggressive_ , they were _argumentative_ , they were _dismissive_ of Anxiety’s points. Anxiety focused on what _bad_ things might happen. Creativity focused on the best-case scenario (overflowing glass vs half full glass) Logic more truthful in the possible outcomes. But Creativity and Logic had over time made it seem like Anxiety _wanted_ those bad things to happen. Turning Anxiety into the bad guy.

But was Morality manipulating? Instead of being mean was Patton just being nice so Anxiety might keep silent because he was scared of losing the one person who would occasionally spare him a kind word? Is that why Patton never actually did anything to stop everyone one insulting Virgil? So he could be the one to be the “nice guy” when Thomas’s anxiety was verbally being beaten to a pulp. Was he hoping that he could use Virgil to agree with him when Patton’s ideas clashed against Roman and Logan’s? Was he trying to make himself look more important – if Morality could calm down Anxiety wouldn’t that make him more important than Creativity and Logic? Was he a coward who couldn’t really stand up for what was right but put on an act to make it look like he was?

Patton didn’t know – Deceit said so. But Patton didn’t know!?!

Patton finally looked up at the mirrors. They had changed again. It was showing the sides. It was Christmas.

_Roman “Don’t get ahead of yourself Microsoft Nerd.”_

_Logan “Oh okay, so now that you can’t insult Virgil you’ve moved onto me.”_

_Later; Thomas “Oh my goodness. You know, I want to compliment you, but you were just mean to Logan.”_

Patton felt bad. Patton felt yucky watching that now.

How many times was Roman mean to Virgil and Thomas never _ever_ said anything like that?

As Thomas’s morality shouldn’t Patton have told Thomas that he should stand up to Roman’s bullying? Like sooner? Like ever?

Patton looked down at his shoes again.

_Shouldn’t I have stoop up for Anxiety? thought Patton, Isn’t that what a good father would do? Isn’t that what a good friend would do? Isn’t that what a good person would do?_

 Patton had said Anxiety was still one of us when he had ducked out and Roman wanted it just to be the three of them and Thomas.  But now Patton wondered why it had taken Anxiety to duck out in the first place. None of them had been very nice, not even him.


End file.
